Puzzle Pieces: VI: Pool

One of the few memories i have of my brother when i was young doesn't even include him. My mom had wanted to go swimming, we didn't have a pool at our house but the apartment building my brother lived in at the time did. That is the only thing that connects this memory to my brother.

My mom brought me and my friend Cherilyn to swim in the pool. How we got there and what i was wearing are a total blank. I do remember the feeling of the water. How it felt to be weightless, how it made me feel completely free. The water felt comforting. I loved it, i never wanted to leave. I know that pools have chlorine in them to keep them sanitary, although at the time i didn't know that. All i knew was after a while of swimming with my eyes open under the water, they started to sting.

Once they started to sting it only got worse and worse the more i tried to keep my eyes open in the water. After trying to open my eyes for the third time and being unable to handle the sting, I lifted my head above the water and started to rub really hard at my eyes. I rubbed them to hard that i could see spots behind my eyelids. I swam over to the edge of the pool where the stairs were. I sat on the lowest stair that kept my head above the water. I didn’t want to leave the water completely, i loved it so much.

I remember my mom's voice.Not how it sounded, however - that has long been lost. I remember her asking me what was wrong and why i had stopped swimming. I can only remember her asking once why I’d stopped swimming. I don't remember why i then screamed at her that my eyes hurt. One of the biggest regrets of my life is that i got to spend so little time with my mom and the time I did get to spend with me was wasted yelling.

I remember her soft “oh” as she swam over to me.

That's all i remember of that day. I don't remember how we got there, how long we were there or what Cherilyn was doing or saying while i was having a temper tantrum; Idon't remember how we all got home, or if my mom said anything else to me in the pool or that day. It's all a blank with small pieces of light.