The Roommate Series: Tale of the Unappreciated: Part 3

Part 3: Betrayal

I've known Rebecca all four years of college, freshman year, she was a friend of a friend, sophomore year she was a co-worker and in the same club, junior year she was a roommate and senior year she was a roommate. While she and i didn't hang out that much before senior year, i thought we were friends. At first Rebecca and i would hang out, talk, go shopping, go to trivia all the time together. I was always telling her things, personal things about me and my life and my boyfriend. Every time Hannah did something that upset me or irritated me, i would tell Rebecca first because she usually agreed with me and was on my side. During the episode with the dishes, she was on my side, mostly because i could prove it. After i found out about the whole boyfriends episode, i thought we was on my side because she was telling that she was sorry this was happening to me and that she didn’t agree with it.

I thought she would take my side in the way of cooling off her friendship with Hannah, until one night, i got off work and i was walking up to our apartment door. I was going to put my key in the lock when i heard voices from behind the door. I had been avoiding Hannah and Katie, so i looked through the small gap in the blinds. Rebecca, Hannah and Katie were all in the living room laughing and talking and Rebecca was brushing Hannah’s hair.

I couldn’t bring myself to go in, all the smiles and laughter would stop and one of two things would happen. 1) They would all stop talking and stare at me while i went to my room or 2) someone would want to have a big roommate discussion about everything. Where i'm sure, it would all lead back to being my fault. So i chose the third option, to no go in the door.

Instead, i went back down the stairs and sat on the last step. I kept thinking how stupid i was to think that Rebecca would choose me over Hannah. Why would she? Hannah was more fun, more outgoing, more talkative, overall Hannah was a better person to be friends with if you wanted to have some good times. I don’t even blame Rebecca for her choice, i was just hurt by it.

I stayed sitting outside for 10 minutes before i went back up to the door and looked in the window to see if they were still in the living room. For almost an hour, i stayed outside and waited for all three of them to go to bed. It was the start of December, so it was cold and i was only wearing a thin jacket. Thirty minutes in, i couldn’t feel my fingers they were so cold.

When i finally got inside to my room, i spent a lot of time that night thinking about moving out. I wanted to leave because i was so unhappy and constantly feeling like everything i did wasn’t good enough and it was so hard to face that i was living with three people that, probably wouldn’t notice if i left and would even probably prefer that i did leave. The next day i had decided to distance myself from everyone but i was gonna stay in the apartment because it was easier to stay than to move.

A couple days later, Rebecca and i were at work, we had been teasing a co-worker about leaving her phone laying around and we would pick it up and take pictures on their phones. As a joke, i took Rebecca's phone and walked away with it. I had the idea to take a dozen funny selfies on her phone. Which, i did but once i had her phone. I decided to look through her messages to Hannah. I wanted to see if she had ever told Hannah that she didn’t agree with some of the things that Hannah had said and done to me. That’s not what i found.

It hurt when i realized that Rebecca valued her friendship with Hannah more than mine. It was 100 times worse to discover all the mean things that she said about me to Hannah. Calling me selfish, immature and always needing someone to feel sorry for me. Rebecca had even told Hannah private things that i had told her in confidence and shared it with Hannah. That night i called my dad and cried to him about it. I had never felt so horrible before. This time i decided to again ignore it and act like i didn't know anything.

You would hope that this was the end of the discovery's, but it wasn’t. A couple days later, Rebecca and i went to a friends apartment to drink and hang out. While we were there having a good time, Rebecca went back to our apartment to get Anna a shirt, she left her phone behind. While she was gone, i again looked at Hannah messages, there was nothing new but i did find a group chat. The group chat was between Rebecca, Hannah and Katie. I this group chat they talked about me and said some really mean things. That night i emailed Kiki about the possibility of moving out of out apartment. I really had my mind set to move out until Hannah announced that she was moving out because she was transferring schools. After she told me that i decided to stay, looking back i wish i had moved out.